I already felt like a fraud at Oatly’s speaker summit. As a committed dairy consumer, I assumed I wouldn’t be interested when I first saw the invite. I’m lucky (and sometimes overwhelmed) to get a lot of pitches in my inbox every day. Oatly, for reasons that remain somewhat inscrutable to me, was hosting an all-day speaker series loosely organized around the topic of (nonalcoholic) drinking culture, featuring interesting and surprising panelists.
Substack celebrity Emily Sundberg was hosting a talk about the importance of coffee shops when it comes to building both community and brand awareness, as evidenced by the digital brands having nothing to do with coffee that are now going brick and mortar. The Nitro Bar’s Audrey Finocchiaro would be discussing the making and breaking of viral lattes, a bit of ouroboros (as I’m sure Emily S would agree) as online brands go IRL in hopes of... going viral online. Hasan Minhaj, whom I still secretly like even if he has a loosey-goosey relationship with the truthy, was to talk about chai. I love chai and chai has never, to my knowledge, embellished a story about racism in the wake of 9/11. I cleared my schedule.
I nursed Rosie before I left and planned to pump at the office after the event. I did not want to bring pump stuff. I wanted to look like a normal lady out in the world without a cooler bag. Also, breastfeeding makes you feel like a dairy cow. Something about carrying around milk at an oat milk party just... didn’t seem right.
When I arrived the venue was packed and the media guests were media guest-ing, i.e. chatting with one eye roving around the room to see who’s over there. The “look” of a beverage came up frequently as one talk bled into the next; naturally in an age of social media every brand is conscious of how their drink or space will appear online. On a talk about the Gen-Z of it all, The New Consumer’s Dan Frommer said young consumers “want to try new things all the time” and care the most about visual appeal: “Gen-Z and millennials are about twice as likely as Gen X and older consumers to say they often buy beverages specifically because the packaging or branding catches their eye.” Looks alone won’t cut it, though. On a panel called “My Latte Just Went Viral,” Finocchiaro cautioned, “When the quality is good, the content performs well. If you just build a product that looks aesthetically pleasing... it will fall flat.”
I think we can all agree it is very annoying to spend money on something that looks but does not taste good. Frankly what I was most enjoying were the intergenerational dynamics at play among the panelists, particularly deftly handled by Sundberg, as boomers and Gen-Z speakers attempted to make sense of one another. The young founder of Montauk General Store talked about launching her (extremely successful) business as a silver-haired former colleague of mine from Vanity Fair absorbed the fact that it began neither as a store nor in Montauk.
Good stuff, 10/10 would watch again.
But my boobs had started sending out a mayday signal. Speaking of the youth, they said, are you aware you have a literal baby? Does not get younger than that.
Minhaj was closing out the day’s programming and I wanted to stay longer, but a familiar burning sensation spread across my chest and then my cheeks. It was too late, I was leaking. I tried to put my media badge in front of the growing wet circles on my shirt, which did not work. I grabbed the least weird drink as I hightailed my way out of there, a tortilla agave latte (?) rimmed in crunchy little chips.
It was amazing.
I thought about those panels in the days afterward, how many of them touched on the way that coffee shops can answer our desire for community and ritual, where we take comfort in having the same barista and order, or add a sprinkle of novelty to our day by trying something new. I’ll tell ya, no one loves their coffee more, or is more enthusiastic about a third space and a little treat, than a new parent.
Little did I know my world was about to be rocked by another oat milk creation when Levain, makers of my favorite cookies in the whole wide world, invited me to preview a cookie milk latte they were launching. It was developed at their Williamsburg location just blocks from where I live.
Oh cookie milk latte at Levain, how can I express my love for thee?
They steep cookies in oat milk overnight to thoroughly imbue the liquid with flavor, strain it 12 hours later, then add espresso and top with salted cold foam and cookie crumbles. “We love the ombre effect,” said the manager. Another barista behind the counter added, “The presentation’s fire.” Funnily enough, they use the “uglies” to make this gorgeous girl, giving cookies that are not deemed to be up to bakery case snuff a second chance at life.
Any Levain cookie is beautiful to me, I thought, smiling affectionately into my cup. But I have to admit I like the idea of upcycling uglies.
As for the drink? I was urged to mix it up when I was done admiring its “aesthetic.” Once you mush it all around, it’s not too sweet (the highest compliment for any treat.) I love that there’s no syrup and that the cookie flavor coming through is almost savory, more roasty toasty buttery than a slap in the face of sugar. There’s still sharp espresso dominating the taste, with pleasing little cookie crumbs coming up through the straw, like boba for Levain lovers. Kids online are loving it. It photographs very well. This thing had viral written all over it from the jump.
I love this oat-milk exotica! And it reminded me how much I miss Buunni Coffee in Washington Heights, a neighborhood operation run by a husband-and-wife team who are rasing their family there and are involved in all sorts of local cultural activities. The Ethiopian coffee is superb and so are the baked goods and prepared foods.
LOL! beautifully written and absolutely hilarious! Keep it up!