Bland foods for wild times
Getting hospitalized with hyperemesis gravidarum at 9 months pregnant was not on my bingo card this summer, and yet. Puking has been kind of my thing throughout this pregnancy, even if I still don’t know why the regular-degular morning sickness I’ve gotten used to handling suddenly turned into something out of an exorcism requiring an emergency trip to Labor & Delivery over the weekend. Yes, it’s the uncontrollable vomiting situation that Kate Middleton had, so it’s a bit chic if you think about it that way. I am so thankful that the baby and I are both okay now and she gets to bop around inside me a little longer. Not least because I was banking on another month of To-Do List time and still have no idea how to use a car seat or stroller!!!
For those who might be curious, I do realize I’ve written very inconsistently about my journey with infertility, miscarriage, (unsuccessful!!) IVF, and now pregnancy. It has been a wild ride and it doesn’t all make sense in my head yet. I wonder if it will feel like a narrative emerges when I look back on all this. For now it’s just been a lot of unanswered questions and traumas to muddle through in real time, although I am very happy to talk details with anyone else going through it. I will say that aside from this weekend’s hospitalization, pregnancy has still been kinder to me than IVF. I don’t want to scare anyone; some people deal better with IVF than I did. If there’s one thing all this teaches you it’s that everything’s different for everybody. Maybe that’s why it gives you such a powerful urge to hear different kinds of stories, searching for a glimpse of what you’re going through, someone else who’s been there and made it to the other side, whatever that may be.
The morning (and afternoon, and night) sickness arrived in my first trimester and I learned pretty quickly how to cope. I’d wake up to throw up and feel better right away, at which point I could eat a buttered English muffin with scrambled eggs. It was weird reorienting not just my palate but honestly my whole sense of self around simple foods that made me feel kind of like a child. Normally I’d smother that egg sandwich with Taleggio and chili crisp and preferably some bacon or prosciutto. Pregnant me no longer wanted everything to be maximally spicy, salty, and flavor-bombed. Instead, the key was never letting myself get too hungry during the day, because in that state, hunger = nausea. I have thrown up in some unspeakable places over the last 9 months while trying to go about my business. And almost always, a stranger materializes with a bottle of water or the offer of a tissue while I’m hunched behind a tree or head-down in a trash can. People are really kind, and it’s never the ones you expect to stop in their tracks.
I felt a lot better in my second trimester and my palate came back to life. Thrilled to have my appetite back, I didn’t adhere to the normal pregnancy dietary restrictions. If I wanted cold cuts, I ate cold cuts (and no I didn’t microwave them). Cured meats, soft cheeses, rare beef, even the occasional bite of sushi from restaurants I trust. Everyone has to make her own risk assessment, of course, but it seems weirdly patriarchal and controlling to me to cut out all these food groups—not to mention deeply American. Generations of Italian and Japanese women can’t be wrong, right?
This led to some sticky situations at restaurants that simply refused to serve me dishes I wanted that they considered unsafe for pregnancy, even after telling them I had no dietary restrictions. One brought me cold soba noodles instead of the carbonara-type dish I ordered, because of the runny egg. Another, during a Michelin-star tasting menu with my husband and father-in-law, made the executive decision to make substitutions for me (again, not welcome ones). I understand that safety is a top priority, but having male servers tell me why I “couldn’t” eat what I wanted felt like having my bodily autonomy taken away from me at a particularly vulnerable time. Have you ever been in the mood for spaghetti carbonara and been served cold soba noodles instead? I don’t think you have to be a food writer to agree those are not the same thing.
I realize it may sound petty to gripe about this, but so little about my body has been within my control over the past few years that it really got to me. But don’t worry, I’m not terrorizing restaurants any more because I am not feeling quite so adventurous at 36 weeks. The vomiting picked back up with ferocity, and while I am now on new medication to control it, I’ve reverted back to a boring diet. Unfortunately, most of the staples that got me through my first trimester are unappealing now, as they remind me of, well, my first trimester. English muffins are inconceivable, replaced by other foods from my childhood that bring comfort. Mac and cheese, chicken soup, oatmeal. But I need to bump up the nutrition factor while keeping things inoffensive. (Keeping on weight has been a challenge due to all the… you know). Funnily enough, judging from what I see on social media, there are a lot of moms out there trying to do the same for picky eaters.
My #1 life-saving meal is Annie’s Shells, which now comes in a Super Mac variety with extra protein. I stir in some cottage cheese and peas at the end, and feel like that’s a pretty decent dish. Oatmeal gets fresh fruit and a dollop of Greek yogurt. That’ll do, I think.
Another go-to is chicken and rice soup. I add extra rotisserie chicken and vegetables, plus little cubes of cheddar cheese because that’s how my mom always used to give us soup when we were kids. It feels bizarre to be babying myself as I crawl closer to the finish line that separates me from my own impending identity as a mother. And yet, it’s oddly fitting, no?
This post brought to you with immense love and gratitude for my husband, family, a job that’s possible to do remote, and the staff at Weill Cornell.
BAAABYYY 😍🥹
The food stuff is so so interesting. I could have sworn my French host mom talked about eating prosciutto etc during her pregnancies too....regardless beyond frustrating to be struggling with nausea and appetite only to be served something wildly different.
So glad you are both feeling better!!